Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt

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Turns out, the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this guy on reception didn’t speak English and I left my phone in the room so I had to crack out my year 9 French skills. I said something along the lines of “Avez vous filles dame portfuelle” in a very slow Manc accent. He smirked, said non and went back to the room to crack the bad news. My husband and I were in Père Lachaise. I noticed some lovely wee purple flowers growing on a grave, and decided to ask a nearby guide what they were. I blundered the last syllable, turning “Les fleurs, est-ce qu’elles sont violettes?” into “…est-ce qu’elles sont violées?” which means something like “Have these flowers been raped?” Stood in front of a church in Paris with my friend talking, probably quite loudly, about the fact that we thought it was Notre Dame. In English, but obviously mentioning the words Notre Dame a lot just, as it turns out, to make sure all the Parisians knew the gist of our conversation even if they didn’t speak any English at all. We stood there for about an hour oohing and ahhing and taking pictures and saying ‘amazing, I thought it would be busier’. It was not Notre Dame. Once when I was 5 years old and at a kids holiday club in Mallorca, I gave the lady running it the money for me and my brother and told her to “keep the change you filthy animal” which I had been looking forward to saying to someone since watching Home Alone, obviously not knowing how offensive someone might find that. Anyway she kicked me out. Lesson learned. A few years later (also in Mallorca) I had one of those laser pens that I was playing with while we ate our evening meal. I noticed two kids who must have been about 3/4 were chasing my dot from my laser and decided the smart thing to do was to shine it on one of the waitresses arses in the kitchen. These kids just barged straight in and smacked the living shit out of this poor women’s arse. Everyone starts going mental in the kitchen. I very quickly told me parents I felt ill so we could leave.

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I went to Berlin with my sister and a few times she would say stuff to people like “Your English is very good!” Sometimes it’s because they weren’t even German and likely spoke English as a first language. I lived in the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this middle east and worked with a Fillipino fella. Guy was great, got on well. Hard worker, smart, would bring in Philippine food occasionally. One day he went absolutely ballistic at me. Like proper screaming at me and I was at a complete loss as to what I’d done. It took my boss, who’d worked out in the middle east most of his adult life with loads of different cultures to figure it out. Essentially for like a year of working with the guy, as we’d become friendly and comfortable I’d been showing up going “What’s up motherfucker?” Or like “ah you knobhead” or similar. Turns out, there is no equivalent of insulting people you’re friends with in the Philippines? Or certainly not where he was from. And so for a full year he’d just been bombarded by me insulting him with a smile on my face, like some awful psychopathic despot I don’t know. And then one day he had just had enough.

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I know now, objectively, that’s a genuine faux Pas that I wouldn’t have known unless I’d made that mistake; but still I do feel bad about it all these years later. It’s kind of my fault for just assuming that how I do things is how everyone does things. I worked in Filipino call centres for a few years, mainly in training and coaching call agents. After working on a collections account for an Australian bank, I realised that the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this agents were freaking out every time a customer swore (which was several times in a call). Ended up writing and delivering a training module on swearing – explaining what the different words mean, how ‘bad’ each one was, and they can actually be terms of endearment. They loved it and started to deal with calls much better.
Ordered a beer in Germany that had a massive foam head on it. My German friend told me to take it back and ask to see if they can fix it. I was really embarrassed when the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this barmaid explained that’s how they pour beer in Germany. I was very tired and a fairly intoxicated one time in California when my American hippy friend bought me some sushi, I never normally eat this stuff as it’s not my cup of tea. However, being a good guest I wanted to eat it all to look greatful. I eyed up a big blob of what my brain just automatically assumed was mushy peas and ate it. Turns out that’s what you call Wasabi, it took a lot of mind over matter to not instantly vomit, as i made distressed noises and was hunched over with watery eyes, she said ‘ wow dude, that was a lot of wasabi, why did you do that?’ As I meekly said I thought it was a mushy pea.
I was in Japan on business and was at a dinner event one evening. We’ve all just been poured drinks, so I lift mine and say to the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this group I’m with, “Chin Chin”. The Japanese lady to my right had a look of shock and horror on her face, when her male colleague explained to me that “Chin Chin” translates as “Penis Penis” in Japanese (I’ve since learned it’s their equivalent of “Willy”). I was rather embarrassed! My mate wardy who was a bit thick once decided to get travellers cheques. This was when hardly anyone still took them, but whatever. Ignoring the fact Crete was in the eurozone he went out of his way to get GBP cheques before he went, it was pretty nigh on impossible. After paying a small fee in the U.K. for them, he then paid a ridiculous premium to cash each, but felt it was money well spent.
I wore a ‘l love Berlin’ t-shirt to a Battle of Britain war museum. Spent most of it with my arms crossed out of embarrassment. Not me but in NL custard looks like milk cartons (or it did in the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this 90s) and my mum poured custard on to her breakfast ceral Smiling at strangers in Iceland is up there, but I think the worst was not fully understanding the tipping culture in the US. It’s been 15 years and I still do a full-body cringe when I think about all the friendly, helpful people I met … who I later realised had just been hoping for a tip, and didn’t get one because it never crossed my mind. Dude in army camo & AK47 shows up starts talking insistently in Portuguese. Don’t understand a word but the meaning is clear – come with me & no you don’t have a choice.
Turns out photographing government buildings is illegal in Mozambique. One of the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this buildings on said random ass road happened to be a police station. I was visiting friends in Germany, and we went to Heidelberg Zoo on of my days out there. Narrowly averted disaster at the Elephant enclosure. There was something about the spectacle that reached into my inner child and prompted me to make Elephant noises and wave my arm around like a trunk. As my arm straightened out and rose through the air, I snatched it back with such a whiplash that would impress Richard Hammond, as I realised I was millimetres away from a full Nazi Salute. Nope, nope nope nope nope nope. Went into a shop in Havana, and I was followed in by a beggar. Just to get rid of her, I gave her a coin. The woman serving in the shop said “It takes me all day to earn that”. I was suitably mortified. Asking a Serbian police officer for a lighter (upaljac – “oopay-atch”) whilst extending my hand and making the “universal lighter gesture”, easily mistaken for a twitching half-cocked thumbs up. Fortunately he laughed and gave me a lighter after I realised my error, rapidly sobered up and explained my mistake (in English). But his hand never left the butt of his gun, even when he was laughing. I was in a cafe in Sicily and wanted a gelato. Had been learning some basic Italian but got pesca pesce mixed up.
There was a lot of laughter when I tried to order a fish ice cream by mistake. Took me a while to realise and kept repeating the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this word pesce over and over again. As a kid we took a family holiday to France, I was about 8 or 9 at the time, and when we were out somewhere for the day (I don’t remember where), I needed to go to the toilet. So my mother grabs me by the hand and leads me over to a member of staff behind a desk and asks, in quite clear English, ‘where is the loo?’ The French employee followed every single word until ‘loo’, because that’s apparently a colloquialism that never carried over, and they were completely baffled by what my mother was asking. They couldn’t help us, so my mother did what all us Brits do when a bloody foreigner isn’t being helpful: we repeat the question in a louder, slower tone of voice. The employee still didn’t know what the ‘loo’ was, or where to find it. The whole thing didn’t last long but I remember my mother asking again and again and getting more and more angry, while I was achingly desperate for a piss, with my mother eventually shouting at the employee to tell us where ‘the loo’ is. I don’t remember the specifics but eventually I said something like ‘Mum, I really need to go’, which clued the staff member in that we were looking for the toilets, at which point they asked us if that’s what we meant by ‘loo’. My mother, at the same time, realised she had been consistently saying ‘loo’ instead of ‘toilet’, and had basically been shouting at an employee in double-Dutch the entire time.
Less than a minute later we were in the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this bathroom, and before long we left the place entirely, my mother’s face completely red at the entire situation. When I was a kid I went to Bovington Tank museum and got myself a toy gun. We then went to the beach where I built myself a massive trench (took a couple of hours). My main memory is my dad overhearing this and (in my recollection) slow-motion going “Noooo” as I said “it’s to keep the Germans out”. In my defence, 1) I was 7 years old, 2) I didn’t recognise their accents, 3) the trench obviously didn’t work as it appeared to attract rather than repel Germans. They either laughed or were mortally offended, I can’t remember which tbh, I just got back to my digging. I do feel awful now though. Ok a date in Taiwan and I told the boy “你的陰莖很漂亮” (ni de yinjing hen piaoliang) which translates as “Your penis is very beautiful”. my mother went to Eva perone grave with a tour group & loudly pointed out “she was part of a murderous dictatorship” & “nobody cares about her” My biggest shame was being shocked by how cheap coke was on my first trip, right behind someone in the line who was struggling to pay the total, but as I wasn’t paying attention, I was totally oblivious. I looked like a stupid obnoxious foreigner, but my statement was meant to my husband in context to how expensive it was in the UK at the time. I can’t remember the price but it was like 10% of the UK price. No one around me had that context, and I just sounded like a snobby rich foreigner going “omg the coke is so cheap”. I died that day from shame. Jokes on them cos I’m not rich.
But when im feeling embarrassed by it. I just think of that loud obnoxious American woman I met in Rome, Italy. Who barged past everyone to pay and then loudly proclaimed Bonjour and waved everyone goodbye as if she had done a great thing. 20 years later, and im still second-hand embarrassed for her ? First time I went to the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this States, I got excited about ordering pancakes for breakfast. When asked how many I wanted I excitedly squealed “Three!!”. Got a funny look and a shrug, but then came back with three massive pancakes about an inch thick and the size of dinner plates. I couldn’t even finish one, it not being one of the elegant thin things I was used to on Pancake Day! And then there was the time in Spain I apparently asked in my bad Spanish how and where I could buy one of the men walking along the beach… Getting into the back of a taxi in cuba with a driver who’d been sat at the bar we were in – it was only when he got up we realised how drunk he was. We were too British to say anything so endured a white knuckle ride, literally praying to get back to our hotel in one piece.
When I was about 10 flying to Morocco, I had a little French phrasebook hoping to try my best. I walked up to a lady in the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this airport and said “Ou le de Bureau de change?” I was in Amsterdam a few years ago. It was a hot summers day, we’d been cycling our bikes around the parks all day, smoking some weed as we went. We stopped at a shop to get bottles of water. So I’m standing in the queue, water and money in hand. I get to the register and the woman scans my water and tells me the price in Dutch. I’m guessing due to the dehydration and being slightly baked I zoned out. Instead of just handing her my money I say “Whaaaaaat?” She then, annoyed now, tells me the price in English and I give her the money I have in my hand anyway. I still feel embarrassed thinking about it today
I’d be interested to hear if this is me being British or just grumpy (or both), but when waiting in line to see Christ the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this Redeemer I saw everyone was getting up on this platform with a huge photo of Rio taken from the top to make wild poses for photos. It was part of the actual queue. I knew I wouldn’t want one, I was travelling alone, I hate having my photo taken and HATE having people stare at me (the people being photographed were the centre of attention). Fine if that’s your thing – I get it – but it’s certainly not mine. So I knew I wasn’t having mine taken but when it came my turn the guy wasn’t taking no for an answer, I was slap-bang in the middle of a legitimate fuss, and with the language barrier I thought I wasn’t going to get any further unless I had a photo taken. So I got up and stood stony-faced while everyone stared at me being a miserable prick.
My partner and I got on a train out of Ho Chi Minh City for a 15 hour overnight journey. We missed out on sleeper tickets as it was sold out so we had two ”soft seats”. We got into the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this carriage and we were the only westerners there. The carriage was packed. We got to seats 1 and 2 which were reserved for us and of course, there were people sitting there. I was feeling very British and didn’t really want to deal with the situation but my partner said there was no way she was not sitting in a seat for 15 hours. So I put on a sympathetic face, pointed at the seats and our tickets, and they understood. Under the watchful eye of an entire carriage, we evicted some Vietnamese people from their seats. I felt bad, but we had reserved the seats. We got comfortable and settled down for the journey.
About 5 minutes later, along came the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this ticket inspector. He had a good look at our tickets and shook his head, pointing to the seat numbers. It turns out the ticket printer hadn’t done a great job and there was a very feint 6 before each of the seat numbers. We had reserved 61 and 62, at the complete opposite end of the carriage. So we packed up our things, and again, watched by the rest of the carriage, we made our way to the other end. And there were people in our seats. And I had to do it all again. I nearly died of embarrassment. In hindsight, this journey (the whole trip) was the best thing I’ve done in my whole life (sorry wife and kids). I encourage everyone to travel, and don’t plan too much. It’s these unexpected twists that create the best memories.
Getting the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this train south from Bangkok with a friend, we bought the tickets in advance and agreed to meet up on the train. I get there in plenty of time, find my seat, suprised at how comfortable it is and settle in. I’m even more pleasantly surprised when I get bought a bowl of noodles to eat. Halfway through finishing them a large German guy turns up with a guard and very politely tells me I’m in his seat and that mines back in the normal seats, not the sleeper carriage. Embarrassed I go to move, only for him to insist that I finish my noodles (I assume he thought I’d bought them, rather than them actually being his complementary ones). I then had to sit there awkwardly finishing off his breakfast. Whilst under the constant glare of both him and the guard, waiting for me to get out of the way.
My actual seat was pretty shitty, but fortunately my friend (who thought I’d missed the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this train) had made friends with the guards on that carriage. So, we spent the journey sitting by the open door playing poker, smoking and drinking whisky, while watching the stunning countryside passed by. In a taxi going through Helsinki. Me to wife: Look at that, that was probably a nice building before it was left to fall into ruin. Taxi driver (sniffily): That is our presidential palace. I once asked for my change in “proper money” in a a Glasgow post office. The thick glass screens between you and the employees are not for their protection. I walked into a temple in Egypt wearing a vest top. I had a load of men run in after me with a huge red cloak and put it over my shoulders because you aren’t allowed to have your shoulders showing in the temple which I didn’t know. Had to walk around the whole place in this cloak like a dirty sinner…I walked into a temple in Egypt wearing a vest top. I had a load of men run in after me with a huge red cloak and put it over my shoulders because you aren’t allowed to have your shoulders showing in the temple which I didn’t know. Had to walk around the whole place in this cloak like a dirty sinner…
On a school trip to Germany many many years ago, we visited a concentration camp. My best friend was wearing a tshirt that stated “PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY”. When I was a kid of about 10, my family arrived at a campsite in rural France to find that the Trump middle fingers Chuck Fina shirt moreover I love this gas canister in the static caravan was empty. We slogged over to the campsite office and spent 20 mins trying to explain to the man there (in pidgin French) what we wanted. He didn’t understand us at all, turns out he was Australian. Some years ago my ex-wife persuaded me to go to Israel with her to visit her sister who had moved there 10yrs previously and married an Israeli airforce officer. This guy took us out one day to check out Masada and some places in the hills overlooking Gaza. We pulled into a small town in the desert for drink, he gets out first and wanders off to buy cigs, telling us to wait in the car. It’s a baking hot day and like a typical smart-arse no-nothing Brit, I take my shirt off and start walking towards a cafe for a drink. Very quickly I’m getting followed by a growing group of young guys who are starting to look a bit threatening. I’ve no idea why until the Israeli husband appears next to me, shows them he is armed, and says something quietly like “For fuck sake put your shirt on..they don’t like it” We start walking back to the car 100yds away followed by this group. He tells me to get a move on, I point out he’s got a gun, to which he replies “They’ve all got fucking guns…!”

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