Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt

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The fear of being feared. I’d be lying if I said I’m not sometimes afraid of men. I wonder if they notice, or if I keep as straight of a face as I think I do. Many of the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and guys I’ve had dates with, are very cautious of how they present. I can tell they are trying really hard to be perceived as nice and safe, can’t blame them for it. I am a fast walker (I’m tall, so I have long legs) but I purposefully slow down when walking behind a woman (especially when it’s dark outside) and maintain a long distance. Or I switch the side of the street. Always feels bad when said woman turns head around or starts walking away faster so I developed these “mechanisms” but I believe most dudes do that. If I’m coming up behind a woman and can’t cross or whatever, I’ll be sure to drag my heels a few paces, step on leaves or whatever, just make some kind of sound so that I don’t just appear out of nowhere. I don’t know if it ever sets anyone at ease, I hope it does, but if not, at least I’ve signalled clearly that I’m there, I’m not trying to hide or be sneaky, and don’t take fright.

Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt, hoodie, long sleeve, v-neck tee

I tend to pick up the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and pace so that I can pass them so they don’t feel like I am following them. I will definitely also switch to the other side of the street if it’s dark and safe to do so. As a big, tall, bearded male I am aware of this potential around females. If I am ever in an area where a female and I are relatively alone or where she would not have an easy escape, I alter my pace or direction of walking to not get too close or appear to be following. I also do my best to appear non-threatening such as not paying a lot of attention to her, getting out my phone, etc. I enjoy doing evening walks, but I often move off the sidewalk or cross the street when I notice the female approaching me is worried for her safety. When someone is in front of me walking in the same direction, I also try not to go the same way as her, fearing it is accidentally perceived as following. It is a small nuisance for me but I hope it helps? I understand why women would fear me/us, especially when it’s dark.
This is something I really struggle with. I am very aware of how shitty (and cringe) men can be because I saw a lot of it growing up and I swore to myself that I would never be part of the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and problem. The issue is though that nearly all the examples of men flirting with women or expressing non-platonic interest in them that I have seen were some level toxic, and I really don’t want to make people feel unsafe or uncomfortable. But that also means that when I am interested in a woman that I have no idea how to express that in a non-toxic way. Usually we just end up becoming friends, which is still great because I wouldn’t have feelings for them if I didn’t like them as people, but the only reason that I ever got into a relationship was because my ex made the first move.

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I’m trying to get over myself and try to date, but it’s hard to justify potentially making another person feel like they came face to face with someone who might do something to them just to fulfill my own selfish desires. I see the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and men in my life past, present, and future struggle with connection. I hate it for them and I hate it for me. Like in some cases, I can see them trying to connect emotionally and it’s hard for them because they’re not raised or encouraged by society to feel safe in showing emotions. They either disappear if they’re sad/stressed or maybe express emotions in a clumsy way because it’s foreign to them or they just show hurt by being angry. That is so incredibly sad to me.
I really feel for women being under such scrutiny when it comes to getting pregnant. They spend the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and first 2-3 decades of their life being shamed out of ever letting themselves get pregnant. Then all of a sudden they’re 30 and expected to successfully get pregnant at the drop of a hat. With pressure coming from all directions. The emotional adjusting required to go from “don’t you dare get pregnant” to “why aren’t you pregnant??” Is insane. And really unfair to women in a sense of societal acceptance. Not to gloat but I’m a fairly large guy; muscular and slightly-above-average height. I never thought about how unsafe it would feel as a woman to walk around in public until almost a year ago when my friend begged me to bus with her back home. I realised when I asked her what the fuss was about. We went to visit another friend of ours who lived in a particularly bad neighbourhood. Before being with my partner I was less aware of how much more personal safety conscious women typically are. I was aware that there was a difference but not really aware how much of a difference and how the safety consciousness permeates everything. Especially when it comes to being safe on a date etc a lot of the common precautions women take are a very common sense way to mitigate risks I hadn’t really considered. Now I suggest to guys that they should also adopt precautions like telling a friend where they’re going or location sharing etc because it’s a crazy world out there and looking out for each other is a good thing. I hear of guys doing crazy things like letting a new sex partner they just met tie them up and realize that’s something I probably wouldn’t really have thought twice about back in the day despite the fact that that is making yourself extremely vulnerable.
Men bringing their kids to the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and park and not being included with the moms.Also being expected to be mentally and physically strong all the time,no matter what. One of my friends is divorced and has a daughter, routinely gets asked what “he’s doing around her school” and even if he had proof his daughter was really his. I imagine female pedophiles having an easy time. Listen, I got an undercut a couple months ago and just realized how frequently men has to go to barber/hair dresser to maintain short/shaved haircut So much hard work to keep it looking good though. So now I just have this weird fusion of ex-undercut and whatever else you’d try to describe it as. Get clippers. You can maintain the undercut yourself. Get the original cut and then just buzz the undercut every week or 2 im a teenager and what i see a lot is that nobody complements a guy which i find a bit horrible and that girls who hate this one girl will leave her out of everything. and in PE we are split up once a week by gender and the girls do yoga and hokey while boys do football and basketball Ladies having the biological situation of menstruation, and also breasts, is something most guys think little about. I 43M have one sister and I knew nothing of what she dealt with, ever. I think being a girl is harder work. Women’s period cramps. I had food poisoning accompanied by severe cramps. Waves of pain that would literally make you tired and too sore to even talk. I immediately felt bad for my wife as she goes through this once a month
When women are nice to men the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and risk of said man falling for them is bigger than the other way around. I’d get paranoid at the thought of every opposite gender friend I have being potentially attracted to me. I just assume that absolutely everyone in the world is attracted to me. Then when I find out they’re not it’s a relief but also slightly disappointing. So men have to deal with losing custody of their children and paying a large portion of their paychecks to child support. When they watch their own children, it’s called babysitting and they can’t exist around playgrounds without having a wife/gf figure with them otherwise they are considered creeps. They also have to make themselves appear non-threatening by whistling/looking at their phones/crossing the street. When they do anything deemed “feminine” like cleaning, cooking, having general empathy they are called women/girls as if this were a bad thing.
If they are victims of sa, they aren’t believed/made fun of/told they are lucky. This is particularly bad if a female guardian (teacher/nurse etc) does this when they are minors but it’s all horrible. When I was much younger, the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and idea of prostate exams freaked me out but now I have to go in for a pap once a year (even though I was a minor getting bc at one point- I’m 32 f now) soooooo…..yeah. tbh though, with the exception of like the first paragraph, most of these issues stem from other men. i rarely see women calling men “feminine” for cooking or cleaning. if anything, they often praise it. for sa, again, i really only ever see other men tell them to “man it, you had sex get over it, ur a pussy, etc” Cooking and cleaning are the only things she listed where I agree with your criticism. The rest it is very common to see women also perpetuating the problem. It is easy to find examples of women who seem to think that women sexually harassing men is no big deal because any man will always want sex with any woman who wants to fuck him. Similar reasoning being used to support scepticism that a sexual assault occured is also common from women.
This is so frustrating to me. I’ll tell guys being emotional & caring is attractive and then a bunch of guys will come in and argue with me about it A lot of guys report their trauma being used to hurt them later by women when they were vulnerable enough to share about it or their significant other losing respect for them if they don’t remain stoic etc. You getting push back for that opinion really shouldn’t be surprising if a lot of guys experience this. After all from their perspective you are telling men to put themselves in a position to suffer what they suffered. In reality they should probably be taking this sort of treatment from a significant other as a cue to bow out of the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and relationship instead of advising others to adopt their own coping mechanisms that they use to make being around toxic people tolerable.
Men live lives of quiet desperation. As men, we are expected to live difficult lives and say nothing. It isn’t ok for men to share their emotions, and when they do, they are often criticized for it. Ask a man in your life. How are you doing? The average response is im fine. When in reality most of us are far from fine. I think most people regardless of gender say that they’re fine. It’s a social norm, people don’t actually want to hear about how you’re doing Unless you live in Sweden lmao. Here you don’t ask someone how they’re doing unless you’re prepared to hear everything bad that’s going on in their life. I don’t even try to hide it anymore. I answer with something like “I’m surviving.” Most people take it as a joke, I guess, but it’s the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and only answer that feels honest. 100%. I can say, “oh, I slept bad, shoulder is a bit tender, feeling pretty depressed” and people think I’m joking. Fun Fact: I’m (hopefully at the other end of…) currently going through a major major depressive episode. I mean, I was contemplating hospital, I’m 50 and have for the first time reached out and am getting therapy. But anyway … So yeah, there are times recently I’ve been 100% honest, and people don’t take it seriously. (I don’t take it personally though.)
As a man, women can’t comprehend that we are almost universally never complimented and never told we are loved. Girls and Women are complimented all the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and time, even if you’re not supermodel beautiful, someone will tell you you are beautiful or you have beautiful eyes or they’ll compliment what you’re wearing etc. and as a man that just doesn’t happen. We basically never get complimented. If you’re a woman reading this, ask your brother, father, cousin, nephew, boyfriend, husband etc if they can remember the last time they were complimented and what it was (and not from you if you are someone who compliments them) – you’d be shocked. And then as for being told we are loved, again with most boys and men, our parents and families stop telling us they love us at a very young age. Usually by 11 we’ve pretty much all stopped being told that by our parents and families. In male friendships it’s just not the done thing to tell your friends you love them and isn’t really the same thing. We know our friends love us via their actions and honestly look at most men when they’re drunk with their friends, they hug each other all the time.
Again girls and women will, generally, be told by parents, family and friends that they are loved all of the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and time. I have two sisters, one older, one younger, and my parents always tell them they love them. They even say it in text messages. They have only told me they love me ONCE since I was like 9/10 years old, and that was like a week before I deployed to Afghanistan. That was 2007 I’m a woman and one of my guy friends told me this a long time ago. I have made it a point to compliment men now. I work with all men and most of them are awesome. It’s adorable how they light up but then get slightly bashful when I tell them something like “I like your shirt, that color looks nice on you” or “thank you for teaching me how to fix that, you’re a really good teacher and I appreciate you.” I may not be able to change the whole world but I think it’s bullshit that men don’t get compliments so I will try my best to change it. Men deserve to feel good about themselves too. I do not understand the mentality that misogyny is not ok but misandry is. I’m sure you have many fine qualities and I hope you have a beautiful night (or day, not sure where you’re at)!
Haha ffs I hate having to explain it, it was a name I typed in because my usual usernames that are combos of my name, initials etc were all taken. Out of frustration I just typed in something stupid and now here we are You just made my entire night! I’m in the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and US and it’s almost 1900 so I’ve got about 10 hours left to my shift. I’m going to giggle about this the rest of the night. Thank you for changing the tone of my day and making it better! I’m a man and I’ve never understood this experience with compliments. Are you saying you never have friends or coworkers tell you your haircut looks good or they like your shoes or whatever? Your boss never compliments you on your work? Your partner doesn’t tell you they love you and you’re sexy or smart or whatever? That just seems unlikely, and I wonder if you’re only counting physical compliments from strangers of the opposite sex and not thinking of all the other instances. 2 – In my jobs since then I’ve been in lower-middle management roles where the term “shit rolls downhill” thoroughly applies and you’re at the bottom of that hill. You get ALL of the problems and blame with ZERO recognition for your work. In fact, we (people at that level) would always joke that even if you did everything perfectly, the bosses would find something to fault, even if it was bullshit.
So my work experience of bosses and Co-workers is generally one of bullshit and stress with a healthy dose of anxiety and soul crushing defeat. 3 – As for my friends, no to be honest. I haven’t changed my hairstyle, facial hair or even how I dress in years so they’ve kind of gotten used to me and it’s not something noticeable. Plus my friend group is one of sarcasm and shitting on each other in jest – we’re pretty much all ex-military, I have like 2 civilian friends, and the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and humour is just wired that way. 4 – Girlfriends have given compliments at times yes, but they’re also ex’s for a reason and that reason has usually been that they’ve been quite selfish and attention seeking. That doesn’t always correlate to a “hype girl” when it comes to regularly complimenting you. That’s entirely my fault though and I always take that one on the chin, I am choosing these women to date. Personally I couldn’t give a flying fuck about physical compliments either. I’d much rather be complimented on my intelligence, humour, cooking skills or something than my physical appearance
Well the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and lack of compliments in the military makes sense lol but I’m sorry to hear about the job and girlfriend’s not showing appreciation. Job is one thing, but partners should absolutely be complimenting each other often. My friends also communicate primarily through talking shit but we also compliment each other and say we love each other a good bit. And I feel like either a friend or coworker or stranger will compliment my outfit every few weeks. And I’m a totally average looking dude with average style. Just strange to hear that our experiences are so different. I think another difference to note is that I’m British and I’m going to make an assumption that you’re American from what you’ve said (not in a bad way, we just have different ways of wording and phrasing things) and over here we’re much more reserved than Americans are. The girlfriend who gave me the most compliments was American and honestly for a working class British man it was kind of overwhelming! And the insane positivity, god that was tough at times
My ex’s weren’t necessarily awful, don’t get me wrong, but I’m a very chill and laid back person, particularly since becoming a civilian, and I think it gives off a vibe of “oh he’s not bothered” and that’s why people don’t compliment me, coupled with a fact that I simply can’t abide fakery or bullshit, so people won’t try to bullshit or fake a compliment either because they know I’ll probably be able to see through it. I can tell when it’s genuine and when it is I appreciate it, but I also think like work compliments would be tantamount to ass kissing at times too Yep. That’s what we’re saying. I’m rapt for you that you don’t understand this experience, you’ve probably got good people around you, and you probably deserve the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and compliments you get. Be proud of your people and of you. But I totally get this concept. Here is my general experience … the last two compliments I got were about 14 months ago, some random woman on the street told me I look good. Honestly? I almost asked her if she was ok. The next compliment came last year on the day of my Dad’s funeral, from a close family friend. I am the eldest son, so I stepped into that role, did a bit of a Spit and Polish and dressed up nice for the proceedings. Before these two, I honestly do not remember any genuine compliments. I know my work is good, but rarely get compliments on it from work … and my job is 100% cosmetic. Other than that, to be painfully honest, I’m going through some mental health stuff atm, that I’ve vaguely disclosed to my employer, and he and my direct manager have actually told me that they care, about me the person, not just the employee.
But I do get the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and odd haircut compliment; but I only cut my hair or trim my beard like, once a year, so ofc people will compliment that after seeing long scraggly scruffy messed up unbrushed hair and beard. But I’m not bitter, even if I sound it. Because on the other hand, I honestly don’t know how to take a compliment anyway. But anyway, that’s just my experience. One man of many. You make sure you keep looking after those people who are looking after you. Only children and pets are loved unconditionally. Men have to bring something to the table and prove their worth. When I proposed to my husband, even though I was sure he wanted to get married, I was completely freaked out. And traditionally a man has to do this all on his own, making a wild guess as to whether she wants him to ask or not. In many cases when the answer is no the entire relationship crashes. I don’t know how anyone is married because how is every guy supposed to have that certainty and courage?! Btw I knew he wanted to be with me, but I was afraid he’d want to wait till we could afford an expensive ring. So I chose an antique amethyst ring on Etsy and offered to buy that as our engagement ring. So it wasn’t even like I thought I might lose him. I just wasn’t sure if he was ok throwing societal wedding shit out the window.
It is not an oppression competition. Anyone who says straight men struggle as much as women has zero critical thinking skills. Today, good men live in total fear of women in the Oh deer I need another beer Santa and reindeer Christmas Shirt and by the same token and workplace. Like they are even afraid to talk to women one on one. It’s really sad. Are there pervs out there? Yes. Are the asshole guys who treat women like dirt? Yes. But ladies good guys are still out there. And as a mom of boys it just bothers me to know that if they choose an office job someday, it could be unnecessarily cruel. it must be really hard to convince a guy that you love him in order to get him to buy you a house. Lying like that continuously on a daily basis would be exhausting. Especially if they ended up working from home during covid. To ask for help. Way too many men are afraid of this because they think it makes them look weak. No guys, asking for help is a power move. It is not giving up, it means you don’t give up.

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