Celebrities, they’re not like us. According to a Sunday Times Magazine piece this week, Orlando Bloom is living what can only be described as his fullest life in L.A. I’m going to try and top-line his daily antics without any glib comments (wish me luck). After logging the Veterans were created because superheroes are busy fighting in cinemas flag shirt and by the same token and quality of his rest on a sleep tracker, he leaves sleeping beauty Katy Perry in bed to begin his day of back-to-back zen-equalizing 90% plant-based self-care. In fairness, it starts out quite relatably. He coos over his baby daughter, reflecting on fatherhood the second time around (Bloom has a 10-year-old son with Miranda Kerr). He mentions he’s a Capricorn. But things start to go awry before breakfast (a meal he apparently earns with a Nirvana-soundtracked hike). Orlando chants for 20 minutes; Orlando posts about Buddhism on his Instagram Stories; Orlando reaches for the collagen powder. We are right on the cusp of silliness here as Orlando admits, “It’s all quite L.A., really” before happily plowing into his day peppered with a kind of woo-woo modern spirituality, seemingly designed to make readers’ eyes roll all the way back into their skulls. The internet, God bless her, turned on Bloom’s daily routine, ridiculing his reverence of cattle (“the most beautiful thing ever”). Readers bemoaned his un-relatability with many crying spoof. It is, on reflection, a deeply impractical existence for a lad from Britain, a country so proud of its practicality, our make-do-and-mend mentality, our lack of airs and graces (even the queen slogs through the mud at Balmoral). By far the most out-there aspect of Bloom’s morning is the Brain Octane oil he ripples through his pre-breakfast, which sounds like something a high-functioning NASA astronaut sips from a gravity packet. But in spite of my robust and protective cynicism, I found myself nodding along to his regime of meat dodging, intermittent Lego building, and reminders to respect the doorman. Orlando has the right idea. The thing is, I don’t want relatability from my stars. I don’t want them to be like me. I don’t want them to keep it real. I want them to live in a way that I can’t even fathom, in gated castles with footmen and maids who turn and face the wall when they see you, affording a type of clean living that only comes from being filthy rich. It is so easy to knock Bloom’s life mechanic, but wouldn’t we all eat better and sleep better given the option? Wouldn’t we like to have our traditional, attainable self-care turbo-powered by vegan protein and a “team of people.” Wouldn’t we choose this if we could? It’s ridiculous, it’s optimized, but it’s not bad for you. This kind of amorphous “wellness” is believably, if not scientifically, life extending. When you can afford organic hazelnut mylk do you really need to guzzle tap water to prove a point? If I were as rich and Hollywood as Orlando Bloom, I might give up pedestrian eating habits too. I’m not the only one to quietly investigate Bloom’s practices (Google searches for Brain Octane oil spiked immediately—I’d guess some sales too). Even at ground level wellness is a privilege, a sign of successful capitalism, where you can afford to create a physical, emotional, and intellectual sanctuary. His particular brand of wellness may be inaccessible to most, but perhaps we should not write off his philosophy entirely. As Bloom says, It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
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As the Veterans were created because superheroes are busy fighting in cinemas flag shirt and by the same token and wellness movement has increased bodily awareness and inspired us to to embrace traditionally less-thought-of parts of our physical being, underarm care has emerged as a new category, one that’s particularly intriguing as a year in lockdown has, for many of us, brought on an abundance of sweat stress. (Or is that just me?) The good news is, perspiration is absolutely a good thing—especially now.“For humans, the physiology of sweating is crucial to maintaining a safe and healthy body temperature,” says Alicia Zalka, M.D., dermatologist and founder of Surface Deep, who goes on to explain that we offset excess heat from our bodies by way of our built-in cooling mechanism. “When the body produces too much heat, sweat droplets from within sweat glands are produced,” she continues. “Through the portals of microscopic sweat ducts, moisture permeates on the skin surface. As the moisture of sweat meets the air by evaporation, it releases [and] heat and cooling takes place.”As important as sweating is to helping the body stay balanced, its outcomes aren’t always desirable—especially when there’s an excess of body odor. But what many don’t realize about sweat is that at its source, it has no smell. “It gains odor when the bacteria known as corynebacterium present on the skin interacts with the sweat and oils creating the smell we know as ‘body odor,’” explains Dr. Zalka. That’s where underarm care, from thorough cleansing and exfoliating to a refreshing deodorant, comes in: to not only to keep odor under control, but also contribute to your body’s overall well-being. Here, a guide to how you can detox and nourish your underarms.Underarms are a part of the body that’s considered an intertriginous zone, which means that due to the folding of the skin, it’s prone to being moist due to lack of airflow, and it can often harbor particular bacteria and fungal-yeast organisms. “Proper care and cleansing is important to reduce unwanted moisture and keep the natural balance of the microbiome,” explains Dr. Zalka. “Yet, doing so must be approached delicately.” She recommends washing your underarms once a day (no more, unless you have a very athletic or physically demanding job or hobby) and alternating between different pH-balanced body or underarm cleansers.Like the face, underarms can be impacted by skin sensitivity and irritation. According to Dr. Zalka, “too much oil, clogged pores, pimples (known as folliculitis), and a buildup of dead, dull, and sometimes discolored skin cells,” are all reasons exfoliation should extend below the neck. To this end, there are physical exfoliants, such as masks or scrubs that manually remove dead skin cells and debris, or chemical exfoliants such as toners that harness the power of AHAs, BHAs, and PHAs to gently melt away the buildup. To avoid irritation, Dr. Zalka is partial to the latter, and recommends using a glycolic toner (no more than 5% glycolic acid) to slough away dead skin and improve overall tone and texture, and/or using exfoliating deodorant pads such as Surface Deep’s innovative Anti-Odorant Pads, which team fruit-based glycolic acids with probiotics and antioxidant-rich ingredients to inhibit the bacteria that cause bad odor and reset the natural balance of the skin’s microbiome.If you choose to shave your underarms, think of doing so like skiing. “If not done on a smooth surface, you are skiing moguls and it is a bumpy experience,” explains Dr. Zalka. “You want to glide down to prevent razor ouches.” For a smooth shave, a shave gel (or at least a moisturizing cleanser) in a warm shower is critical to prevent razor burn and razor bumps, she emphasizes. If you’re prone to irritation or want to safeguard against ingrown hairs as much as possible, prep the night before. “Go to bed with a thin layer of moisturizer on the area you will be shaving,” instructs Dr. Zalka. “This will create a friction-free experience the next day.” Razor-wise, be sure to change your razor at least once every one to two weeks. “It’s expensive, but prevents problems!” Dr. Zalka emphasizes.In the same ways your face and body crave moisture, your underarms need hydration to look and feel their best. They just don’t need it quite as frequently. Since they are damp, Dr. Zalka recommends using a pH-balanced underarm or body lotion once or twice a week, or more as needed for dryness. Another tip for keeping underarms sooth and supple: “If you notice irritation, take a break from shaving and deodorant,” she says.In navigating the deodorant market, Dr. Zalka’s foremost advice is: Listen to your body. “If your deodorant is causing irritation or leaving too much residue on your skin and clothing, choose another.” If you want to take things to the next level, consider opting for one that is “clean and simple,” i.e. fragrance-free and avoiding phthalates, parabens, sulfates, or dyes. “Look for products with the fewest chemicals,” she says. “Isn’t that the case with the foods we eat too?” Additionally, unless you need to block moisture because you have excessive sweating (known as hyperhidrosis), Dr. Zalka advises avoiding aluminum in your deodorant. “Aluminum-containing antiperspirants are lifesavers for some, but we don’t all need aluminum in our day-to-day underarm care,” she explains. “It is possible to prevent odor without blocking sweat. Sweat is intentional; odor is preventable.”
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